I just don't know's Journal [entries|friends|calendar] I just don't know [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

five months and eight. not that anybody's counting. [18 Jul 2004|10:50pm] What a fucking trip. (In that "Shit! My kneecaps!" sense, of course..) See, I'm not supposed to be the one onstage. Listen to the Gossip, babe, but don't let the rest of them lie you into honesty: deception is intoxicating, meat still tastes better than politics in real life, and maturity is definately a by-product of sick misadvertising. 3 smoggy days| more breaking waves

umm. four months and three days. [13 Jun 2004|04:40pm] darling, that really isn't healthy.. officially barred from rockstardom or orgasam or having fantastic thoughts about you new boys. and cigarettes - no more of those. floss daily, don't smile at the strange men, take your pills on time, move more onstage, don't give away your hand, eat, but don't finish all the goldfish crackers, remember where you're coming from, don't walk on the grass (with your boots on), love the faults, stop talking about having sex with girls, learn to enjoy bran, stop having sex with girls, throw away all the broken and sharp things, tone the thigh muscles, put away his pictures, get a job, take time for long songs and hugs. This is just the gunshot of things. 1 smoggy day| more breaking waves

What is it about the horrible things we humans do, [09 May 2004|01:08pm] [ mood | within/out you ] That makes us cringe and swoon and smile? Keep reading. Web pages popping up and down, about the amazing 60 year old, singing, dancing, all-purpose theatrical gender-bender whose show I saw last night, and Charles Manson. I'm listening to the screamy sitar Beatles, covered in graphite and amphetamine sweat and little trickles of leaked hope. Glass Candy at Neumo's last Friday. I've never wanted to use a gun before. Manilla colored tape boardering all of my official art and holding together the pictures I need to sleep with to sleep, 7 minutes and 46 second long cell phone messages of nothing but static and distorted voices talking about rainforest destruction, corporate responsibility, and American overconsumption patterns. If I didn't know better I'd say my subconscious was trying to set a lunch date. This moment is all you have. And this one. Live in it. Make it your Jungian castle. Job applications and methadone and smog and cars and haircuts and piercings and the religious right. This is fucking reality, man! Don't, like, fuck it up. 1 smoggy day| more breaking waves

[02 Nov 2003|05:46pm] Everything You Want Vertical Horizon ( Read more... ) Why is it is SO FUCKING EASY to find the lyrics to bad music.. and not easy to find recordings (let alone lyrics) of my favourites? 1 smoggy day| more breaking waves

shellshocked, it's the way that you walked... [21 May 2003|08:35pm] [ mood | shocked ] [ music | Smashing Pumpkins - Perfect ] i have decided that i will be a painter. and if i didn't already know a girl who had changed her name to Mark, i would change mine. Marc Chagall. lucid colors and realistic surrealism. if i could remember my dreams, they'd look like that. despite my newfound career-revelation, everything felt so funny today. it's like i have to keep reminding myself "i'm alive," "this is my life i'm living." don't fuck it up... 3 smoggy days| more breaking waves

you have no idea how hot'n'bothered i am right now. [29 Apr 2003|09:05pm] [ mood | scener than thou ] [ music | Talking Heads - Psycho Killer ] oh man, whatever happened to the Talking Heads? more breaking waves

i saw the Dancing Boy in london, though a window, but it didn't matter [23 Apr 2003|10:24am] [ mood | slivvery and silvery and sexy ] [ music | something like a sigh.. ] there's this boy i've seen around, skinnying around my city with his messed up bleachy blotch hair and thin fingers, and we bonded in a bus isle over an apology and crushed foot. mine, i think. you know the fiddlehead part of ferns when they're still babies? that's what his eyes looked like. 8 smoggy days| more breaking waves

you know what fucker? i love you too.. [21 Mar 2003|03:09pm] [ mood | awake ] [ music | orbital - beached... black flag - rise above ] i am SO in love with the very idea of [all of] you. thousands of people holding my hand, leaving trampled question marks in the sand as we stroll, dying for love. dying for peace. dying. we would die for each other, and wouldn't even consider monogamy. that's the way this world works, baby. welcome to the '90's. and we are so fucking poetic. 3 smoggy days| more breaking waves

if smashing pumpkins is "dog" spelled backwards, what am i? [24 Jan 2003|11:29am] [ mood | elated ] i wish i knew someone named moses. oh well. sundance was full of cold and stars and popping film and cigarettes. i fell in love with the whole damn thing. 3 smoggy days| more breaking waves

rest in peace, you beautiful being [23 Dec 2002|05:36pm] [ mood | mourning ] [ music | the clash ] my god, i loved him. if i were male i would have a Clash cover band, and i would pretend to be Joe, strutting in black pants and boots, my hair greased back. warbling and spitting and making a god-awful, beautiful, powerful, pro-active noise. lord, we need another Joe Strummer. more breaking waves

[21 Dec 2002|06:07pm] gosh... okay? are we all okay? more breaking waves

[Smile sweetly, Baby.] I'll let you know where I'm at [17 Dec 2002|06:29pm] Solice, darling, solice. I swear that's all that I'm seeking. 2 smoggy days| more breaking waves

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